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"City of Ithaca Rejects "Police Officerish" Candidate in Favor of Holistic Healer"

The city of Ithaca, NY has been on the search for a new police chief to help combat the rising crime rates. After a thorough search and interview process, they finally found the perfect candidate - Officer John Joly.


"He had all the typical experience, like working as a patrol officer, a detective, and even a SWAT team leader," said Mayor-elect Laura Lewis. "But we just couldn't see him fitting in with our laid-back community." Just as they were about to offer him the job, the city council had a change of heart.


It turns out that Officer John Joly was just too "police officerish" for their liking. According to the council, they want someone who can combat violence with love, not traditional law enforcement tactics.


As a result, they decided to go in a different direction and hire a holistic healer and meditation instructor as their new police chief.


Officer John Joly was devastated by the news and couldn't believe that his "police officerish" ways were a deal breaker. But the city council remains hopeful that their new approach will be a success.


"We're confident that our new police chief will be able to calm down even the most violent of criminals with a few deep breaths and a soothing mantra," said the mayor.


In the meantime, Officer John Joly has decided to take his skills to a different city where his "police officerish" ways are more appreciated.


Thank you for listening.

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